It's A Square Peg Life In A Round Hole Town

"...but it all couldn't be any sweeter. You may be upside-backwards and wrong side down, but it just couldn't feel more completer..."

We're gonna have to ignore the grammar in this week's lyric because I just found this song today and it's fabulous and I love how this particular lyric fits my world so well these days.

I've been a Christian for a long time, but I've also been a writer for a long time, and recently I've been encountering a pretty solid half & half mix between people who love my writing journey (complete with service and ministry goals) and people who are almost utterly scandalized by the fact that I write secular fiction for adults only. It's a strange dichotomy, but on average, it looks like this:

1. Person discovers I'm a writer, get's curious. They often ask, "So, what do you write?" The general answer these days is, "I write upmarket women's fiction." After which, I explain a little of what that means, because most average people (even readers) don't always know what genres really mean beyond generalizations. This usually leads to a short exploration of what is "chick lit" and what is not, what are the merits of "chick lit," and why my books can fit there but don't necessarily belong there.
2. Now curious, the person will generally ask if my writing is appropriate for younger readers, to which, the answer is always no. Beyond the question of sexual activity and how graphic it may or may not be from novel to novel, my novels explore deep content and often feature a woman in the midst of some deep emotional trauma or growth process. The stories follow the heroines as they grow and heal - but yes, women love love, so there is usually some romance thrown in. And where romance is present, sex is often present as well.
3. This is usually where most people give some kind of hand flutter and say something like, "But they're married right? When they have the sex?" (Because extra-marital sex is not biblical, and as previously mentioned, I am a Christian.) This question is rarely intended to be judgmental, though, and has often led to really powerful conversations exploring faith, ministry, and yes, relationships. These are some of my favorite conversations to have about my writing, my process, my goals, and what I want my stories to accomplish in the hearts and minds of readers. But when that doesn't go well...
4. The now scandalized person will almost always ask some version of, "How could you write that as a Christian?" The fun thing is seeing the looks on people's faces when I say, "Well, the characters aren't Christians so it would be really unfair if I expected them to act like they are, just because I am." There's almost always a good turn to the conversation, and every now and then I get to see the person I'm talking to suddenly understand in a new way - but not always.

The thing is, those "square peg" conversations, held in the midst of my "round hole town," really highlight for me how different I am from the people around me. Sometimes, this shows me where I need to grow or learn or adapt - but other times it shows me how well-placed I am with this writing thing, not because I'm some kind of expert on anything, but because I care enough to reach into a dirty, nasty, deeply flawed and often hurting world to try to offer something good. Some hope, some compassion, some understanding. A shot at growth, a reminder that where you are doesn't dictate where you must stay. In so many areas of my life, I am upside-backwards and wrong side down...but it just couldn't feel more...completer.

So I guess I'd better get back to it! Other updates:

• Chapter one of STILL FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM is complete and was well-loved by my first beta reader.
• The second chapter is nearly ready to land in the hands of my favorite right hand grammar nazi.
• I'll be sitting in on a real-life domestic abuse trial next month. This trial will hopefully award appropriate justice to the survivor in questions, and will also serve as research for coming chapters in STILL FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM. In this second novel, the trial against Christine's husband comes into play, and it's important to me to portray this process as accurately as possible.
• The last current beta-reader is loving the second edition, expanded and revised version of FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM (coming May 2025), and I'm literally counting down to publishing day (382 days, but every one of them is worth it)!

If you want to keep up with what's happening or want a sneak peek at what's coming next, make sure you check the graphics in the sidebar, and if you're looking to interact, drop a comment below or feel free to come hang out on social media. See you next week!

*song lyric from "Couldn't Be Better," Kelly Clarkson

So Here's The Plan...Part II

With the completion of the rewriting (and editing, and more editing, and then some more editing) of the second edition of FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM, I thought it would be a good idea to get some feedback on my original plan, so in last week's post I set up a poll asking my readers for advice. Two options:

• follow the original plan, which was strong but would have taken ages before any of the 13 books in the plan made it to publication.
• adapt the plan with shorter wait times and set a schedule I can keep up with that doesn't require readers to wait as long for publications to begin.

Honestly, I would have been happy with either answer. I loved my original back-to-publishing plan because it gave me plenty of time to focus on writing - what I didn't love was the wait time. I'm a work in progress and patience is not my strongest character trait, but from a marketing standpoint, I also worried about the patience of readers who have been loyal since the beginning of my writing journey. FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM took seven months to revamp, and this was a 13-book plan. With an estimated 7-9 months allowed for writing or re-writing each book, that would have meant a total of 91-117 months before I got the chance to publish anything new. At most, that's almost 10 years - and I've already gone almost that long without publishing due to various health problems and life circumstances.

What I love about the shorter plan is that I can still set a long schedule that gives me time to (hopefully) keep up, but it takes an enormous chunk out of the wait time for readers while still offering a bit of predictability. So with that said, here's how the vote went:

With the results of the vote, I took some time this week between writing sessions to calculate a timeline I think I can still keep up with, first giving myself the rest of this year to keep writing and then leaving 10 months between expected due dates of new releases. I think this is a great middle ground that gives me space to keep up but also allows my readers to know when to expect new releases from me. So with that thought in mind, here's what's coming next for the 13 books in the adapted plan:

This new plan will still complete all three of my open series; it includes 2nd editions of all of my previously published novels as well as the new ones needed, goes one series at a time, and also includes an expanded 2nd edition of my poetry compilation - but that's an awful lot of planning to keep up with (even with a head start and 10 months between releases) so I'd better get back to it! What do you think about the new plan? Which book are you most looking forward to seeing? Drop your thoughts in the comments!

So, Here's The Plan...Part 2a

In the first iteration of my back-to-publishing plan, I had a serious long-term goal in mind. First up, I planned to go through the entire backlog of my books and write extended second edition versions, while also writing the books needed to complete all three of my currently open (or unfinished, depending on how much I'm kicking myself on any given day) series. This would basically mean writing twelve novels and doubling the length of my poetry compilation, and holding all of those books back from publication until they're all finished. There were two major logic points behind this:

1. This would give me time to build momentum on my social platforms, so that when I release new writing, people are actually there to hear me announce it. Nearly ten years of not publishing left my social platforms pretty quiet, and I wanted to know that when I was ready to push a new book out, someone would read it.
2. I could eliminate confusion for readers during the process. People wouldn't have to wonder which book is the best one to get because there would be a clear delineation, including pulling the first editions from the market and retiring them. My writing skill and style have both adapted and grown over this quiet period, and I didn't want readers picking up incorrect editions by accident.

This started out as a very long-term plan, with me writing all the books while building momentum, and then releasing them one by one on an accelerated timed schedule that would eventually settle on a 10-12 month regularity readers could count on (and I could keep up with) going forward.

But the thing is, now that I've finished the second edition of FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM, I'm impatient. Patience was never my strongest gift, and while I still like the logic behind my original plan, I'm beginning to doubt the wisdom of waiting. The last few months have gone well, and I am building momentum - but I don't want to waste that either.

I love writing, and I'd write even if no one was around to read it. But publishing? I'm doing that for readers who enjoy my writing - that part is for you just as much as it is for me, so I think it's only fair to share some ownership of this big plan with you! Should I stick to the plan and finish all thirteen books before moving forward - or should I set publication dates and give you a schedule as the books are finished?

(This poll ended Saturday, April 13, 2024. The above image reflects the results.)

When I Was Just A Girl, I Thought I Had It Figured Out...

"See, my life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow...but things don't always come that easy..."

You might have noticed that I've been using song lyrics to title and inspire my blog posts for a little while now, and I usually just post a little credit at the bottom, but you guys, I love this song.

I wanted a lyric that would express how totally thrilled I am to be able to say the second edition of FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM is complete - something celebratory and motivational. But really, this book and the journey through putting it together has been rough. During the writing of this second edition, we had the holiday busyness, the turn of the year, my youngest daughter's first year of high school, my oldest daughter's (probably) last year at home, several injuries and illnesses, and a divorce that nearly derailed some of the most valued and meaningful parts of my life. It took seven months to complete this book, and here's where we stand: the text file for this novel is 199 pages, and we did make it down to just over 110 thousand words (110,335, but who's counting?), which means the paperback will be a solid 336 pages.

It didn't come easy. I had to fight for it the whole way, had to prioritize it when I could, and learn to give myself grace when I couldn't. But now, all that's left is for me to finish designing the paperback cover (hopefully tomorrow), and then finally we're on to the second slice of my absolutely huge and sometimes terrifying comeback-to-publishing-plan.

I know some of you are wondering what this means for when this new version of FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM will be released, and next week I hope answer some of those questions in a post that will explain more about what's coming next and how my plan is being adapted for timing. New graphics will also be up soon to reflect the progress and the next step in this journey, so don't forget to check back.

But first, today's Easter (Happy Easter, to those who celebrate, and a lovely Sunday to those who don't!) and I'm nursing a migraine, so I'm gonna make some dinner with my little one and we're gonna settle in for a living-room picnic and a (hopefully quiet) movie.

*song lyric from "Free to Be Me," Francesca Battistelli

You Know a Dream is Like a River...

...ever changing as it flows. And the dreamer's just a vessel that must follow where it goes, trying to learn from what's behind you, and never knowing what's in store...

Dreams are funny, aren't they? Always changing, adapting, adjusting. Mine has been the same since fifth grade - I dreamed of one day holding a book in my hands, looking down at my name on the cover. I dreamed that I would grow up to be a storyteller.

The dream has changed though, flowing with and following the course of my life. I wrote less when my children were suffering chronic health problems and needed to be the forefront of my focus. I wrote less when their dad and I split up, and I needed my focus and energy to be on healing myself, guiding my kids, and creating a home they could feel safe and loved in. But even during that quiet time in my life, words never stopped flowing through my mind; I took notes on my phone, wrote little scenes that came to mind during the course of my day, mapped out novels still unwritten.

Now that there's room again and my life is opening up to allow for my own dreams to flow a little more freely, I am happier than I have been in years, writing away whenever I can fit in the time between appointments and other obligations. This is the beginning of how my dream became "the plan."

Here's where we stand: FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM is thisclose to finished. I read through it this past week with a friend (who cried, laughed, and loved all the characters just as much as I knew she would) but still managed to find a few remaining errors despite having edited this work umpty-bazillion times. I'm going through and fixing those hopefully by the end of tomorrow...at which point, I will update all of my graphics to reflect the plan progressing to part two of the largest, most intimidating project I've ever attempted.

Which means I'd better get to it. In the meantime, what dream is flowing through the landscape of your life? Tell me about it in the comments!

*song lyric from "The River," Garth Brooks

I've Been Grinding So Long, Been Tryin' This Shit for Years...

And I got nothing to show, just climbing this rope right here...and if there's a man upstairs, He kept bringing me rain...but I've been sending up prayers and something's changed. I think I finally found my hallelujah.

This has been one of my favorite songs for years - I love the feel-good vibes, the irrepressible energy. But I also love that it speaks to trials and overcoming them too. My last active publication was in 2020, and the last one before that was 2016; the years in between have been full of seemingly insurmountable challenges. My children both had serious health problems, so did I. We lost my aunt, my grandmother, both of my parents. My daughters lost their other grandmother as well. I got married - and divorced. So much has happened, and all of those circumstances impacted my family, my health, my ability to cope with PTSD, and yes, my creative output. The man upstairs was certainly bringing me rain.

But in the same way that spring rains sometimes flood as they bring revival to trees, flowers, and wildlife, when I sat down in September 2023 and decided to get back to writing no matter what, everything in my life turned. I felt like I found myself again. I formulated a comeback plan, a sort-of schedule. Revamped my website, this blog, my social media pages. Put deep thought into what I want my life to look like, who I want to have in it, where I want it to go. Sent up so many prayers. Took so many steps of obedience. And not just something, but everything changed.

Baby steps can feel so small, so pointless. It's easy to feel like you're getting nowhere. Grinding with nothing to show. Spending six days a week in front of a computer screen, sacrificing social aspects of your life for a future dream that is in no way guaranteed. But there are (on average) 2,000 steps in a mile...those baby steps add up.

This week, I finally finished that backwards edit! FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM has now been totally rewritten for a second edition, almost completely edited, and is now on to the next step in the plan - one last forward read for continuity. I got the file down from 221 to 207 pages, and it went from just under 140,000 to 113,675 words. Still a little over the 110,000 I was aiming for (and this is still without the Letter from the Author that will be added to the back), but this count includes the front matter, dedication, intro, and things like that - so I'm calling it a job well done.

Putting it aside to wait for the rest of my plan to play out is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, but I still believe in this plan, and I'm so thankful for those of you who believe in me enough to be patient. Keep an eye on those sidebar graphics - they should be changing this week to reflect the progress of the final read-through, and then I'll be writing a completely new novel for the first time in almost 10 years.

I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.

*song lyric from "Good to be Alive (Hallelujah)," Andy Grammer

It Ain't About How Fast I Get There...

...It ain't about what's waiting on the other side...it's the climb...

This past week was crazy. We're prepping for being out of school for Spring Break, I spent most of the week helping another author edit and publish a grief memoir, I decluttered my house a little more, had a bunch of ministry stuff...and still managed to get the things I needed to do done. I even managed to tuck a few moments of really amazing quality time in with my youngest daughter.

I won't lie though; it was a little stressful at some points, and by Friday I wasn't sure I'd be marking this week off as a win after all.

The thing is, life is a series a baby steps. We only get one moment at a time, and the only thing we can do is make it count. String it together with other moments, call it a day. String those together, call them a week. And while it's healthy to have goals and aspirations, they shouldn't be another source of self-flagellation. Goals aren't good for you if they're the reason you're walking around bruised in your heart because of the way you beat yourself up over them.

So, with that said, here's how my baby steps are bringing us closer to accomplishing my giant, terrifying, seemingly impossible writing plan: I'm still working backwards through FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM, and my goal for the end of Friday was to have gotten back to page 60. I'm still working on getting this massive novel below 110,000 words, but we're getting there! As of right now, it's a little under 118,000, so with 60 pages left to go, I'm feeling pretty confident - even in the moments of impatience. This novel is incredible...the way it shows Christine's story and her growth through a terrifying, traumatizing set of experiences is just...well, I'm proud of it. I hope to finish the backwards-edit this week (since there's no school, there will be no school run, and I'd like to use that extra time to wrap this part of the process), and if that works out, next week will be one last forward-read before I shelve this book and move into the next phase of my plan.

In preparation, I've been doing a little bit of plotting on STILL FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM, and I'm super excited about that one because it's a fresh novel. This work I've been doing on FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM (Freedom Series, book one) has all been in a second edition format, so while there are several new scenes, edits, and changes, this was a novel I had already written completely. But STILL FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM (obviously, Freedom Series, book two) will be completely new - the first full-length novel I've written in almost a decade. I'm excited to see how my process has changed and grown over the years, excited to see how the rest of Christine's story will play out, and so, so excited to get to share it all here!

Because as impatient as I get sometimes, as much as I'm in a hurry to reach the destination, to announce the release of all these books I'm writing...it really is all about the journey. To those of you who have been riding with me since the beginning, thank you for believing. For hanging on. For your patience and your encouragement. It means everything.

Which means it's time for me to get back at it. See you next week!

*song lyric from "The Climb," Miley Cyrus