Friday, April 19, 2013

Surreal

I'm just a little bit in shock this morning.
I woke up and realized,
"Oh my gosh, it's the nineteenth!!"

The nineteenth. Tomorrow is the day. Prescription For Love will go live, and Cameron Kingsley's story will be available for purchase. And I'll be an author. Again. That never gets old, I swear.

Releasing To Love A Selkie was a momentous occasion for me, a really huge moment in my life. I wrote it in about three weeks, spent two weeks in editing, and put it out into the world. During the month of November, during the writing of To Love A Selkie, my family was having a bit of a crisis, we'd just adopted our dog (Chance), and my mother was nearing the end of a pretty scary cancer scare. She is in ill health already, so the idea of adding cancer to the list was really horrifying and my family was definitely in disaster mode.

Writing brought me through it; it gave me a place to hide. And maybe everything going on gave me a reason to play with Fantasy/Legend for the first time. I think branching out into a genre I'd never tried is why I finally was able to finish something.

Don't get me wrong, all my life I've been a writer. I have pages and pages throughout our apartment in various notebooks of things that I wrote before, always telling myself, "This is the one. I'm going to write it for real this time, and I'm going to get it out there." And I never finished. Until To Love A Selkie, every story I ever wrote dried up and died in my hands. I have notebooks full of old poetry dating back to high school, and there are a few things here and there that are yet older than that. But I'm not sure I ever really believed until Annie Jacobs, until Malik. Finishing To Love A Selkie gave me something, a certain new level of belief in myself. I mean, I always believed in myself as a writer, otherwise the dream could not have survived - but there was something in me, some part of me that felt it was only a dream and that it could never be the reality of my life.

And then I finished it. And I published it. And people bought it. The cliffhanger threw people off, it infuriated them. And there were people who outright didn't like anything about it at all. And that's okay, because you can't please all the people all the time and neither can I. Some people will love me and what I put into my stories, and some will not. That's life, and I'm okay with it.

But swirled into the beautiful gift of confidence that I got from Annie and Malik was a heavy dose of fear. Was that it? Would I be a one-book wonder? Was that all I had inside of me, one book that was generally only succeeding in pissing people off??

Was I finished?

Apparently not.

To Love A Selkie was published December 18, 2012, and by the end of December I'd already made a lot of progress in the writing of Fat Chance, the first book in the Kingsley Series. Cass Keaton flowed right out of me, straight out of the heart of who I am and where I've been in my life. She's made up of the insecurities of women everywhere, but so much of her is simply me. She was so easy for me to relate to, and giving her a love that could help her grow into herself as a woman was easy too. Drew is an amazing guy, and he loved Cass so easily. No part of that story was hard for me, and when it went into the world on January 21, 2013, I was exhilarated. I knew it would do well, I just felt in in the depths of myself. I knew Cass would be okay.

And she is.

She is well-loved, and the reviews on that book have literally brought me to tears countless times. I can't even express how touched I am by the response to her story and the number of people who have reached out to me personally to tell me that she affected them.

Tomorrow, I'm releasing another story into the world. Tomorrow, Cameron Kingsley will take a deep breath, smooth her hands down over her shirt, and check to make sure she looks alright before she steps out into the world for the first time.

I hope you all love her the way I have.

(Edited to add: You can now purchase Prescription for Love! The links to the books in the Kingsley Series are here.)

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