Thursday, May 16, 2013

Twitter Trending. Because It's Funny.

Lately, whenever I'm on twitter, it's become my personal challenge to check the trending tweet list for a hashtag I can say something about. Yesterday I found one.

It was #iGetAnnoyedWhenPeople. And I said, "Because it's trending and funny #iGetAnnoyedWhenPeople talk to me while I'm on the phone. 'If I'm not on the phone with you, wait your turn.'"

Today I found another, which was #IfYouKnowMeYouKnowThat. And I said, "#IfYouKnowMeYouKnowThat I am a loving person but one who becomes fierce in an instant to protect my loved ones."

But then, because I was on the phone with my cousin Dana who inspires my inner insanity to come out, I thought it would be fun to go and check what other people had to say, and see how many I could find that I could relate to. And boy did I find some.

@SinglesDaNewBlk said, "#IfYouKnowMeYouKnowThat I will verbally assault you like you would never expect from a white girl."
and
@_bitchchxo said, "#IfYouKnowMeYouKnowThat it's hard to piss me off but when you finally push that last button, I seriously explode."

These both fit me perfectly because ...

As stated in my own tweet, I tend to be a very nice person to everyone. I prefer it that way. It's just nice to be nice. But then ... when I'm run over more times than I can handle and I reach the end of my tolerance for being someone's doormat ... that's when I say all those things I've been wanting to say for a long time. And I say them all at once. Viciously, and with near perfect timing. When I'm angry or in a fight, I have never needed a weapon. I've never needed to possess more physical strength than the other guy, and I've never needed any knowledge of technical fight skills (though I do have some). All I've ever needed is to open my mouth and unleash the power of words, in a way that no one would ever expect until they've had the unfortunate chance to encounter the force of my verbal rage. And I think the worst part of it is that in order to get close enough to hurt me enough to make me let it fly, you'll get to know me enough in the process to know that I don't just say vicious things in anger. It's just that I no longer care enough to protect my victim from the truth of my secret thoughts.

But like I said, I prefer to be nice.

@KaitlynWendell said, "#ifyouknowmeyouknowthat I'm that person who's still laughin 5 mins after the joke was told."

A while back, Dana and I were having one of our crazy conversations (not that there's a pattern of this of this or anything), and I don't even remember the course of the conversation. But at some point, someone made a joke about sending annoying people away to "stupid people island". That happened to be a day when I was particularly annoyed with Ryan, and since he's a really really tall guy, we were saying we'd need a huge box for him. But since Dana and I are both plus-sized women, somehow we got into talking about what size it would take to ship our big asses anywhere. And someone, probably me, said something dumb about a big giant box, and without missing a beat, Dana fired back, "Are you callin' me big, you bitch?!"

It was a joke, months ago, and it's still something that randomly pops into our conversations now, because it made us dissolve into helpless snorting laughter that day.

It has done that many times since, because I really am that person who's still laughing 5 minutes, or days, or months after the joke was told.

Leave a comment here on this post, and tell me your version of
#ifyouknowmeyouknowthat

I can't wait to see!

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REAL CHARACTERS. HONEST LOVE. BRANDI KENNEDY BOOKS.