Friday, February 19, 2016

Getting A Bit Personal

This was an eventful week!

Tuesday, I spent a whole hour chatting with Ms. Donna Wright, the interviewer at Hummingbird Place. We talked about books, muscles, hotties, Donna's dream job as arm candy, and the absolute and undeniable deliciousness that is Dwayne Johnson. We talked about some of my most secret ambitions, my upcoming appearances, and just a little touch of my upbringing. It was a great show, so if you missed it, please take a few minutes to check it out here.

Wednesday was my birthday. I'm thirty-two now, and while I know most people dread their birthdays and make a big fuss over getting older, I really thought this past year was a good one. Besides, thirty-two just doesn't bother me all that much, as it really doesn't feel entirely different from thirty-one to tell you the truth. I didn't wake up with many extra wrinkles that day, didn't wake up with many extra aches or pains. I'm still me. So naturally, I celebrated and ate entirely too much pineapple upside down cake. Did I feel totally overstuffed and a little sorry for eating such a huge piece? Yes. Yes, I did. Was it worth it? Yes. Yes, it was. And it was worth it again for lunch on Thursday.

Then today arrived, and today was a great day. It was the kind of great day that makes me feel totally thankful, since truly great days like this one are so rare for me. I suffer from cyclical depression on a pretty regular basis, so I need days like today to fuel me and give me something to live on when the bad days hit me. So this morning, I spent some time feeling useful as I coached another author through the process of beginning her own newsletter. After that, I met with my cousin for lunch at Applebee's, and we met a delightful server. She was a beautiful person, and I felt blessed that she chose to share some of her personal story with us. After lunch, Dana and I went treasure hunting for things to fill the beautiful gift baskets I'll be giving away at Romancing The Smokies. And when that was finished (these baskets are going to be so cute!), I went to my brother's house to squish his little bitty baby new munchkin. Isn't she adorable?? She's even cute when she cries.

Now I'm home again, hanging with my own little munchkins and enjoying the rest of the day. For me this means catching up on the new videos on my favorite YouTube channels in the quiet moments while my kids play, and one of those channels is called Ryan's Average Life. He's hilarious, not afraid to look like a dork, but also totally inspiring sometimes. So I look forward to his new videos on Fridays, and today was a good one. He talked about losing his virginity, which was absolutely hilarious and made me think maybe you'd like it if I shared a personal story with you.

On the spur of the moment, I posted to my various social media accounts asking for suggestions, and the first person to answer was my cousin Dana, who suggested I write about my best and worst qualities.

It's easy to talk about my best quality ... who can't think of their best qualities? But to narrow it down to one changes things. Is my best quality that I'm loyal? Maybe. Or is that I'm friendly? That I care about people? That I stand up for what I believe in? Is my best quality my courage, my sense of empathy, or maybe my soft heart? I don't know. I know that I have good qualities though, ones that make me smile at the woman looking back at me from the mirror.

Now the bad ones? That's different. We tend to have a harder time thinking of the bad qualities in ourselves sometimes, not wanting to face our flaws, our imperfections. But how can we improve otherwise? How can we grow if we aren't willing to see and admit those things that are "wrong" with us? So, in the spirit of honesty and growth, I'd like to share with you a few of my personal least favorite qualities.
  • I'm moody.
  • I grouch a lot.
  • I'm impatient.
I can also be overly sensitive, and these types of things sometimes leave me at risk of becoming an angry or bitter person -- which makes me less compassionate sometimes than I'd like to be. To make it worse, this is not only present in my treatment of others ... sometimes it has the greatest and most drastic effects on my treatment of myself.

I also tend to see the glass as being half-empty much more often than half-full.
I try hard to fight this though, and I'll often have little bouts of time where I make it a point to be publicly grateful by posting something every day that makes me happy or makes me feel blessed. I want to be a more positive person. I want to feel blessed every day, I want to be able to notice the good things more often than the bad. I want to be more patient. I want to be more consistently open to the blessings that surround me.

And so, in choosing to acknowledge some of my lesser qualities, I choose also to be aware of them in my daily life, to use that awareness to better myself, and to share what I learn sometimes with others who might take something personal from following my personal journey.

Tell me, what are your best and worst qualities? And what are you doing with them?

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