Saturday, January 6, 2018

Saturday Sentiment: "Motherhood"

If you've been following along with this year's BLOGuary posts, you'll have noticed that this year's January blogfest has grown. Last year I blogged every day in January (except Sundays), and this year I was really excited to be able to invite David from the Single Dad's Guide to Life to blog along with me. David's a funny and insightful blogger in his own right, but I think one of the best parts of blogging alongside him is getting to see the opposite viewpoint on posts involving all sorts of things, always colored by the way single parenting impacts our individual perspectives.

He's the single father of one totally adorable daughter, and since David's daughter is almost exactly right in the middle of my daughters' age range, we have a lot of common experience as far as parenting goes. This BLOGuary has already been really fun for me; it's great getting to check out his posts as we move through the month, and I love that our blog styles and main topics are a strange but entertaining balance of entirely different and very much the same; his single dad side counters my single mom side of things so neatly.

Obviously we cover a wide range of topics and perspectives individually, but the way we love and prioritize our daughters is the one very solid and undeniable similarity that shines through the variances in our styles - so it only seemed natural that we would team up on a pair of Motherhood/Fatherhood-oriented posts.

And since we both love and write poetry ...


One line forms quickly in the window as I watch, turning purple-blue before my anxious eyes.
In the window beside it, another line forms more slowly; I remind myself to breathe and
the rush of air from my lungs is as audible as my pounding heart.

A shadow forms, a glimpse of hope so barely there that I hold my breath again unknowing, waiting.
Will the shadow deepen into a third line, a confirmation of what I already knew? It does -
the lines solidify and as they cross each other I stand awestruck, motionless. Pregnant.

In that moment I leave behind the sickness of days past, forget about the tenderness of breast,
the aching head, the sense of otherness that has so plagued me. I knew, even before I knew.
But now, looking down at the stick that has changed my world, I become something new - a mother.

The mother inside me remains even as the child inside me fades quietly away - "non viable" -
The child fades, transforms, becomes a bloodstain on my soul that no river of tears can wash away.
And the mother watches cautiously through my eyes, later, as another set of lines comes into being.

When the time comes, the water breaks - I spread swollen hands over a rounded belly, triumphant.
A scant few hours pass and as the baby is pressed into my hands the mother spirit inside
breaks free; she leaves behind the shadow of her past pain and together we bloom anew.

Motherhood makes a girl into a woman, gives her wisdom and understanding she hadn't yet even
found the potential to possess, takes her forward toward a new way of being - new thought,
new feeling, new motives, conspire to urge her toward a future full of wonder and uncertainty.

Another pregnancy, another child's bright eyes look into the world for the first time;
adjustments are made, bonds are formed unbreakable. And the mother's love, for so many weeks
the source of so much insecure wondering, becomes a force without limits - enough for two, or more.

Ferocious strength - the undeniable spirit of courage and the sharp edge of exhausted frustration
war with a previously unfathomed need to nurture and desire to protect against all odds.
But humanity reigns with sensitive emotion - life is harder when one's heart lives outside one's body.

The mother's world becomes a mess of kissed booboos and soothed bellyaches - soon to be
followed by the disinfected toys and homework assignments which can lead only to video games
and first-date excitement. She blinks one time too many and her babies become bigger than she is.

She guides and coaches with every fiber of her soul, every molecule of her spirit seeking
the growth and success of the life she once held hopefully within the depths of her womb.
She mothers with greatest care - because she must. Because she loves.

And this?
This metamorphosis of spirit and soul?
This is Motherhood.


Don't forget to go check out David's poem, "Inspired By Fatherhood," on his blog - he's shared bits and pieces of his poetry before, so you're definitely in for a special treat!


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