2019's Focus Word - Renewal

Long time, no speak, right? I went from last year's crazy momentum and thrilling growth to ... well, nothing. Radio silence.

I couldn't blog. Couldn't write. Couldn't keep up with my calendar, my social media, my doctors appointments, my kids' health problems, my struggles and insecurities, the needs of the people most important to me.

I was trying really hard though.

And then a few days before Thanksgiving, my Grandmother died. Her journey through Alzheimer's Disease was heartbreaking, and while sometimes it seemed to be a painfully slow dismantling of the strong, undaunted woman I always knew her to be, I'm also thankful that it didn't drag on as long as it could have.

I wrote a eulogy for her and read it at her funeral, choking on my own words as I looked down at her small and lifeless form.

I still can't bring myself to delete her number from my cell phone. She would have been eighty-four on Christmas Eve.

She died on the Monday before Thanksgiving; her funeral and burial services were held the Saturday after.

The following Monday, my mother was admitted to the hospital, where she stayed pretty much right up until the day of her mother's birthday.

Between that and the stress/excitement of Christmas and the new year beginning, I ended up in one of the deepest episodes of decompensation I've had in a long time - I even struggled to force myself to keep up with my therapy.

I withdrew from friends, ignored obligations, and lost myself in the nothingness of doing nothing.

But my Grandma was the very epitome of everything a tough, strong, take-charge woman should be, and I want her looking down on me with pride.

My mother is a handful, but God love her, she's the best example of warrior spirit and unstoppable determination I've ever seen.

I come from strong women, from a line of undaunted warrior women unwilling to give up and unable to quit. I owe it to them to stand up and make an example of myself, especially if there's even the smallest chance that my sharing so much of my journey might help someone else on theirs.

So I'm back - with fresh heart, rejuvenated spirit, an influx of hope and encouragement, and the willingness to keep getting back up no matter how many tries it takes.

Last year ended on a challenging note, it's true. But the momentum was there and the evidence of my effort to grow and learn and accomplish something is in my hands.

Which is why in 2019, I'm determined to take back the reigns on last year's momentum, kick my troubles in the ass, and share the journey as God drives a wagon train of renewal through my life.

I hope you'll come back to follow along. It's gonna be wild.

If you liked this post (or if you missed me during the hiatus of the last few weeks), drop a comment below to tell me what you missed most, what you'd like to see in future posts, and what you think of this year's focus word. I'd love your feedback and the chance to interact with you! It would also be great if you could share the link to this post with your friends - it helps me connect with new readers, bringing new exposure to the Undaunted Army and what we hope to accomplish together as a group.

Speaking of the Army, I'd like to personally invite you to take your place among those who have bravely fought and survived the battles of life. Addiction, abuse, violence, divorce, parenting, illness, and other traumas are real battles too; those who suit up to fight every day have a right and an obligation to nurture their own health, well-being, and self-empowerment. I know how hard it can be to keep going - but there is strength in numbers, and as a member of the Undaunted Army, you have the hope of knowing that you will never have to fight your battles alone again. Let's keep in touch: become a member of the Undaunted Army to stay caught up on all the most important news.

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