Thursday, May 23, 2013

I'm Like a Bird

Lately I've been having a bit of a twitter-fest.
Is it a twitter-fest? Or is it a tweet-fest?
Whatever.
I'm tweeting.

Twittering?

No, tweeting.
I like tweeting.
Makes me sound like a bird.

Anyway. Those of you that read here regularly will know that I've been learning the ins and outs of twitter over the past few months, and you'll also know that it didn't take long before I got interested in the list of "trending" topics and hashtags. I kept thinking it'd be fun to see how many of those I can relate to or write about, and for a while there really weren't any.

But every now and then I see something listed there that makes me get excited in a silly way. Some topic or other will appear that touches me personally, and I'll get a little thrill. And I'll sort of quietly shout, "Ooh, I can use that one!"

The first time, I just tweeted what I had to say on the subject and then went about my business, but since then I've been looking through the hashtag thread for whatever topic it is that I'm loving in that moment. I tweet my tweet, then I read the thread and generally find lots of other tweets that have me thinking, "Now, why did I think of that?!"

Here are the ones from this morning:

For #MomentsOfWonder, I wrote, "The births of my children and the quiet moments when I'm writing something totally unexpected are my #momentsofwonder."

And they really are. Those first moments when I held my daughters in my hands are the most meaningful moments of my life, and nothing comes close to the first time I held my fragile and tiny Josephine in my arms, tickling her rosebud lips while she slept because it made her pucker up and make faces in her sleep. She was hilarious, peaceful, precious. Perfect. Much like the first time I held her sister, Eden, gleefully unwrapping the blankets so that I could examine her fat little arms and legs, marveling over her chubby little fingers, her giant blue eyes and her eager personality.

The only thing that comes close to that sense of wonder is my writing. When I sit down and create some sort of story or poem, it's akin to creating something as much mine as my children, though less perfect and with sometimes far greater effort. Pregnancy was never easy for me, but it didn't take all of my will to create the children who are now playing together down the hall in celebration of Josephine's summer break from school. Sometimes, writing is as effortless as pregnancy, and I sit quietly, my fingers flying over the keys as if without command, barely keeping up with the thoughts as the story forms in my mind. Other times, writing is maybe more like birth, where I fight for every word and agonize over whether I've written this conversation or that transition correctly. Still there's that one moment in the end, that moment when the project is finished, when the child is born, and I can hold in my hands that little thing that I've created (sometimes with help, sometimes not), and those truly are my moments of wonder.

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