Thursday, September 20, 2018

Love Yourself In Every Language: Quality Time

Life has been really out of control for me lately, and I hate that it's showing here in lack of content. I've been working behind the scenes on getting things together for our move (still waiting on our place to open up, which is so frustrating but also a great lesson in trusting God's timing), getting various health issues dealt with (or at least, attempting to), and juggling the everyday disasters of a disabled single mom living a really complicated life overwhelmed with chronic illness.

I've been pretty proud this year because for the most part, I've kept up with this blog in a great way, and I've grown it amazingly. I've also adapted things, tried new strategies, worked with some great companies, and had the chance to rub elbows with spectacular people. But with my health beginning to change drastically enough for me to finally seek out (and receive) diagnoses that explain my issues, with Eden's health issues still dragging on to an almost impossible-to-imagine resolution, and Josephine closing in on a diagnosis that's likely to be life-altering in the long term, I've been more than a little overwhelmed. I'm still writing as much as I can ...

But these days, it's just not coming along very quickly. Still, I'm here today and happy to be back to writing something for you - which brings me to:


Recently I've been exploring the the concepts of self-love and love languages - particularly when they're intermarried in such a way that we enrich our ability to give and receive love both to and from ourselves. It has been a learning experience for me too, actually, as I've taken the time to explore my own love language in relation to loving myself as opposed to others. I've also taken a good look at how I most openly show love to myself, as well as how I most easily receive love from myself.

Interestingly, the two are not always the same, which complicates things a little sometimes, but as I've learned more about what makes me feel loved - both by others and by myself, I've been able to pinpoint much more closely the way I am impacted by the concept of quality time.

For me, quality time spent means doing something I can see, taking care of myself in a way that I can prove or justify. For me, quality time spent in self-love is an act of service such as taking a bath or giving myself a pedicure. It's giving myself the gift of a shopping trip, a special treat I love, or some small trinket. It's moments spent promising myself that life goes on, that storms will pass, that what goes down must always come back up, because life is about balance.

Quality time I spend with myself is often spent in my bullet journal, exploring my day and the lessons it held, exploring my emotions and what events inspired them. Quality time I spend with myself is time spent encouraging myself actively, indulging in fantasies, feeding myself a belief in success that others may not always see the potential for.

Quality time is a guilt-free reading session, a quiet drive alone, an hour spent in my therapist's office. Quality time is so many little things, but they all always add up to this: it's the time I spend treating me the way I want to be treated by others, raising the bar on my standard of treatment simply by showing myself what it feels like to be accepted, to be known, to be beloved.

What does quality time look like for you, especially when applied to the idea of self-love? Do you know your love language? Do you know your self-love language? Are they the same, are they different - or do they vary? Tell me in the comments!


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