A Willow Deeply Scarred, Somebody's Broken Heart

    ...and a washed out dream. They follow the pattern of the wind, ya see, 'cause they got no place to be - that's why I'm starting with me...

As I've worked to re-build my brand as an author this year, the foremost thought in my mind is two-fold.

Part one is what I'm talking most about as a brand; what's my message? Whether it's my books, my social media content, this blog, or my in-person interactions, I like to think my biggest focus is on being a dependable place for people to find encouragement, empowerment, and grace. I try to interact with kindness and humor, to bring positivity even when it's hard to see - but in order to be a safe place for weary people to rest, I have to make the effort to be comfortable. To be comforting. I need to offer guidance that empowers and encourages - not in a way that ignores failures or flaws, but in a way that fosters growth and improvement. I am the "willow deeply scarred," often the "somebody" with a broken heart.

The thing is, I'm not unique in that. My specific set of circumstances might be different, my story might be different, but feelings are universal, and I want to be the kind of person who finds commonality in order to serve others. Which is why part two is who I'm talking to. In business, large companies spend a lot of time and investigation on figuring out who their people are. We call it the "ideal audience," the "target demographic," or even the "avatar," but it really comes down to a simple question: Who needs you, and how can you help them? So if the local gym appeals to fitness-minded people or those seeking weight loss, and planner companies appeal to the hyper-organized or the desperately disorganized, who am I hoping to appeal to?

Like the song quoted above says, I'll start with me - but who am I, then, to have anything of value to offer? I'm just the traumatized product of a terrible upbringing. I'm not formally super-educated. I'm not wealthy. I'm forty years old and I've never owned a home. My car has duct tape on the bumper, and I pray every time I start it (one, that it will start, two, that it will get me where I'm going, and three, that it will stop dependably once I arrive). By the world's standard, I'm nowhere near the kind of successful other people should listen to, look up to, or follow.

But through my experiences, I've learned a lot, and I want to share those lessons with people who haven't got to where I am yet. As a Christian, I want to show people the kindness and grace of God. I love it when people ask me questions about my faith and I'm able to answer them in ways they understand and relate to, because I want to share and teach and be like Jesus - and he was kind rather than condescending, gentle rather than gruff.

I'm an author because I love to tell stories that help and encourage people to look life dead in the eyes, no matter how many times they've been knocked down, and get back up again. I've been there. I've sat in the dark, my heart broken and my hands full of "washed out dreams" - but I'm still chasing, little by little, piece by piece, the life I'm longing for. Will I ever see it come together? Well, I don't know, but I'm enjoying the journey!

In doing so, I hope I'm setting an example because I'm also a mother, a youth leader, a Stephen Minister. I take those roles, and the responsibilities that come with them seriously. So in order to speak to hurting people, discouraged people, disempowered people...in order to lead those people in a way that feels right...I'm starting with me.

One of the things I've found most helpful in my own growth is taking the time to recognize and internalize the small wins. So much of my life is firmly in the realm of "slow and steady wins the race," and most of my current projects cannot be accomplished all at once. They're one item being donated at a time, one word being written at a time, one conversation at a time. So here are this week's wins:

I'd love for you to share your wins in the comments too, if you're willing. They don't have to be big and you don't have to share many (or any, if you prefer to lurk in silence), but I'd love to see them! I know I said I'm starting with me, but celebrating is always more fun when we do it together.

In the meantime, I'm counting down to the release date of the expanded second edition of FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM, and I don't know if I've ever done anything quite this difficult. I want to see Christine's story in people's hands so much!

While I wait, I'm working hard on finishing the sequel, STILL FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM, and you guys, it's so good! Watching and guiding Christine's growth and recovery has been an incredible journey, and I hope it blesses readers at least half as much as writing it has blessed me. The story is just about halfway written, and I'm looking forward to finishing it - so I can go back and read it again as a completed novel. Writing it by chapter helps keep me focused on each moment, but I'm excited to wrap up the end, go back to the beginning, and curl up with it for the first solid read-through.

We've got a while to go before we get there though, so in the waiting, keep your chin up, count your wins, and...

*song lyric from "Man In The Mirror," Michael Jackson