...yeah I'm bruised - but I'm not destroyed. I'm rising like an army, and you're gonna hear the sound...
Y'all, this song is getting me through right now. This last week was rough. I got so far behind with writing because life stuff kind of...took over. I think the major issues are passing now, and I'm looking forward to getting back on track, but the thing is, I have to look at myself with grace even as I'm pushing myself to keep moving.
Mother's Day was rough. This was my fifth Mother's Day without my mom, and I was already in a funk because her birthday was last week - but then the rest of the week felt overflowing with challenges and miscommunications, and the last few days were filled with activities because today is my youngest daughter's fifteenth birthday. My people-meter ran down, my creativity flickered and sputtered like a candle flame in a windstorm, and it was just a struggle. I'm okay, but I'm behind.
Honestly, weeks like this one give me opportunities to practice what I preach though; to give myself the same compassion I would give anyone else, to allow myself space to rest, to sit in the quiet and search for the blessings. I wrote when I could, and gave myself time to pray and relax when I couldn't. I reminded myself that no storm lasts forever. I taught my daughter to crochet. I leaned on my friends for support. And I counted my wins.
Writing-wise, this week wasn't a full wash, as I did get a few thousand words written and Christine's story is progressing perfectly in STILL FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM. I love watching this character grow, love watching this story develop, and I'm getting good feedback from the people on my team who read along almost as I write. So I'm shaking off the need to beat myself up, I'm spending the evening baking and cooking to celebrate my little one, and we'll be back at it in the morning.
In the meantime, if you had a rough week too, just remember that time keeps moving - and so can you. Take small steps if you need to, and stop to breathe in between when it's necessary. Shake off the pressure when you can, enjoy your favorite drink in a moment of quiet. And always, always...
*song lyric from "Take It All Back," Tauren Wells, We The Kingdom, Davies
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