I Wonder What Would Happen If...

 "...you say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out honestly..."

Last week I posted another poll, asking you guys what you'd like to see here going forward. Obviously, book updates will still be included at the end of every post to recap the week's progress, but a few people have suggested making a point to include more about who I am and what I'm into. With that in mind, I spent a few weeks wondering if people would be interested in more varied content here, and I've tested this in some ways - but sharing the poll was about getting real answers from real readers who took the time to participate. I guess the results are pretty obvious:

With this vote being so clear on the desire for more varied content here but somewhat less clear (wow, that tie, right?) on how often that's wanted, I'm playing the role of tie-breaker this week: going forward, I'll be posting a little more lifestyle content each week, with a bit at the end of each post to update interested readers on my current project and how my writing is coming along.

With that in mind, I thought this week I'd share one of my favorite ways to take some of the pressure out of daily life. Life is hard for all of us, but as a disabled single mom with CPTSD, I have some unique challenges. My kids are both total extroverts and I'm pretty outgoing too, but I still tend toward extreme introversion. This is partly natural tendency, but it's also a CPTSD coping mechanism. I like things quiet to prevent and cope with anxiety, and as I get older I'm increasingly fierce in my desire to protect my boundaries and my peace. The trouble is, I also put a lot of pressure on myself - part natural desire for productivity and part trauma response, I struggle with spending my time productively without burning out or pushing too far. It's hard for me to rest without sending myself into a mental spiral because I feel like I'm "wasting" time or being "lazy," so one of the things I'm still working to improve in my life is burnout and over-scheduling.

Lately, I've been clearing things from my plate, finishing little things without starting new ones right away, and simplifying the schedule I run my life on. This frees time for more conscious effort to reach out to the people I care for, solidifying bonds in my friendships, strengthening the support network my circle relies on, and opening doors for new opportunities.

I'm also keeping more white space in my planner, but like I said before, sometimes this spirals into feelings of unproductivity or laziness - so to prevent this, I'm focusing more on celebrating the wins. Like most people, I can be my own worst critic, and I honestly believe anyone who thinks I'm kind and compassionate would be shocked if they could hear the terrible things I can say to myself in my mind. So I'm working on being a better friend to me, which means spending a little time at the end of each day thinking about the good things. What did I accomplish today? What am I proud of today? Rather than focusing hard on where I dropped the ball or got something wrong, I'm encouraging and affirming myself by keeping my eye on what I got right.

But I also tend to slip up in my practice of these habits so accountability is key, which is why I'm sharing my wins for the week here. Sometimes, they'll be major things, like publishing a book or completing some other project - other times, they'll be a reflection of where I'm struggling. Either way, they'll be here, and I hope they encourage you to look a little harder for chances to celebrate your own wins.

STILL FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM is still coming along right on pace! As mentioned in the graphic above chapter 03 is finished and sent off to my proofreader, and chapter 04 will hopefully be sent off today after church. Sidebar graphics are stalled for the moment as my proofreader has been a little busy this week, but rest assured, Christine's story is growing and progressing beautifully! I know I've said it before, but I'm still so proud of this story; I can hardly wait to share it with the world!

But first, I should do my hair for church. See you next week!

*song lyric from "Brave," Sarah Bareilles