I Am Brave, I Am Bruised...

 "...I am who I'm meant to be; this is me. Look out 'cause here I come, I'm marching on to the beat I drum; I'm not scared to be seen..."

This past week has been exhausting, and I'm not even sure why. It was a great week, productivity-wise, but I'm tired. Maybe it's just the stress of life happening behind the scenes, maybe it's a flare-up of Complex PTSD...I don't know.

What I do know is that I'm pushing through on the strength of restorative naps, an influx of bubble baths, and the discipline of using my planner to at least mostly keep myself on track. Decluttering my home space has been at a crawl as I spend my spare moments decluttering my mind and heart instead, and I've renewed my practice of keeping a running "ta-da!" list. Sometimes the list of things I want to do gets overrun by the list of reasons I can't accomplish certain things on my own or don't have time or run out of energy (or I forgot to do the thing in the first place), but the "ta-da!" list keeps me encouraged and motivated.

Big things on the "ta-da!" list this week:

• I did actually do a little of the decluttering, which I'm proud of. Still amazed by the depth of my purse collection, but at least there are less of them now, and I pared it down to only the ones I truly can't let go of. (We won't talk about how many are still living in my house, or the extensive collection of junk I found while going through them. We also will not discuss the state my nightstand was in yesterday when I cleaned it off.)
• I managed to carve out some time (and simultaneously, dig up a little burst of energy) to go walking in the park yesterday with my youngest daughter. It was a beautiful day; not too hot or cold, not too sunny or cloudy, not too breezy or too still. While she chatted with a friend who met us there, I chose a shady spot by a stream and had the blessing of watching a squirrel come down for a drink. After, he surprised me by politely finding a leaf in the grass on which to wipe his face. It still makes me smile.
• I picked up a mint plant at a nursery about three weeks ago, and it's flourishing. It's still pretty small so we're not fully enjoying the benefits of it just yet, but I've been pruning it weekly to encourage bushy growth, and this week we finally had enough leaves at one time for the youngest and I to have full cups of peppermint tea. It was delicious.
• The second chapter of STILL FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM is now complete and has been added to the main file, where it will await the editing process. I'm hoping to finish the third chapter today (which will be proofread, then audio proofread before sending to my actual proofreader, which is why my progress graphics often display multiple chapters in progress at once) and I am absolutely in love with the way Christine is growing through this second part of the story. The way she's settled into herself and less afraid of the future is beautiful, and in my wildest dreams, I hope she inspires other women to stand up for themselves even when it can be scary.

Those of you who follow my social media accounts will know how much I love the wisdom of people who lived and learned enough to share with others. Every day on social media (except Saturdays because it's the Sabbath), I share a quote that inspires me, along with a little bit of why I chose it or how I relate to it - but recently I've had a few people ask me about more long-form content with life hacks for mental wellness and more of my personal story, which is cool because I'd really like to explore those topics on deeper levels here. So once again, I'm asking for feedback.

I'd really love for this space to become a community of people who feel like they have some say, so check out the form below and tell me what you'd like to see here!

(This poll ended Saturday, May 04, 2024. The above image reflects the results.)

*song lyric from "This Is Me," Keala Settle & The Greatest Showman Ensemble