I've Been Grinding So Long, Been Tryin' This Shit for Years...

And I got nothing to show, just climbing this rope right here...and if there's a man upstairs, He kept bringing me rain...but I've been sending up prayers and something's changed. I think I finally found my hallelujah.

This has been one of my favorite songs for years - I love the feel-good vibes, the irrepressible energy. But I also love that it speaks to trials and overcoming them too. My last active publication was in 2020, and the last one before that was 2016; the years in between have been full of seemingly insurmountable challenges. My children both had serious health problems, so did I. We lost my aunt, my grandmother, both of my parents. My daughters lost their other grandmother as well. I got married - and divorced. So much has happened, and all of those circumstances impacted my family, my health, my ability to cope with PTSD, and yes, my creative output. The man upstairs was certainly bringing me rain.

But in the same way that spring rains sometimes flood as they bring revival to trees, flowers, and wildlife, when I sat down in September 2023 and decided to get back to writing no matter what, everything in my life turned. I felt like I found myself again. I formulated a comeback plan, a sort-of schedule. Revamped my website, this blog, my social media pages. Put deep thought into what I want my life to look like, who I want to have in it, where I want it to go. Sent up so many prayers. Took so many steps of obedience. And not just something, but everything changed.

Baby steps can feel so small, so pointless. It's easy to feel like you're getting nowhere. Grinding with nothing to show. Spending six days a week in front of a computer screen, sacrificing social aspects of your life for a future dream that is in no way guaranteed. But there are (on average) 2,000 steps in a mile...those baby steps add up.

This week, I finally finished that backwards edit! FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM has now been totally rewritten for a second edition, almost completely edited, and is now on to the next step in the plan - one last forward read for continuity. I got the file down from 221 to 207 pages, and it went from just under 140,000 to 113,675 words. Still a little over the 110,000 I was aiming for (and this is still without the Letter from the Author that will be added to the back), but this count includes the front matter, dedication, intro, and things like that - so I'm calling it a job well done.

Putting it aside to wait for the rest of my plan to play out is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, but I still believe in this plan, and I'm so thankful for those of you who believe in me enough to be patient. Keep an eye on those sidebar graphics - they should be changing this week to reflect the progress of the final read-through, and then I'll be writing a completely new novel for the first time in almost 10 years.

I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.

*song lyric from "Good to be Alive (Hallelujah)," Andy Grammer